Directed by Varoujan Froundjian

As a victim of post-traumatic stress disorder and childhood experiences of constant fear, neglect, lack of confidence, and inner shame, I should admit that  I have been extremely lucky that I did not end up like the personalities voicing their desperation and anguish, I portrayed in my latest experimental film, Voices From Within. 

And this is the perfect time to be honest and instead of hiding behind my film, tell the whole world that yes, my film is about me. It is about my anxieties and my inner hullabaloo of unexplainable thoughts and disgruntlement. This is how I view life, it is about how I connect and disconnect with reality and it is about the alienation I feel about my own reality and the people around me. 

But interestingly enough it took a whole lifetime for me to finally be able to find the right moment, the right tools, the right medium, and the right state of mind and my determination to finally be able to tell the truth about my own state of mind and the state of mind millions of people around the world who are struggling with the anxieties of mental disorder who at times are even unable to explain their own thoughts and feelings with the proper words and sentences and in any form of coherence. 

And since, I absolutely do not have any of the expertise, credentials and academic preparation of a mental health expert or a psychologist thus, to portray and analyze the inner workings of the mind and soul of an individual who is struggling to even express a particular thought, I had to rely merely on my own, personal feelings, imagination and simply on my artistic outburst or as it is expressed by so many literary and artistic critics, through stream of consciousness. 

And this is when the experimental and abstract genre of filmmaking becomes an excellent instrument to expose the individual’s pain, frustration, and trauma not in a realistic sense of projection and scientific or theoretical perspective but simply in an aesthetic and poetic form. Unlike a well-researched and methodically recorded documentary film on mental illness, my film relies on  random and abstract and at times surrealistic images, theatrics and dramatizations to portray the inner pain and struggle of an individual struggling with forming a sentence. 

Although my film is not at all the product of hours of academic studies or scientific research in libraries, it was the fruit of my utmost fascination and self-taught knowledge of the Freudian concept of psychoanalysis, Carl Jung’s very perceptive observation of our inner shadows. Michel Foucault’s Madness and Civilization, and finally Christiaan Wouter Kusters’ A Philosophy Of Madness. All these played an instrumental role in shaping my views on the history and social status of mental illness. Aesthetically, I am very much indebted to all the experimental and abstract creators of the genre of moving images from the early days of the invention of the movie camera.  I have been inspired by all those adventurous and imaginative filmmakers who went beyond the aspect of storytelling with over-dramatization and a linear approach. These filmmakers like Jean Cocteau, Marcel Duchamp, Stan Brakhage and Ken Jacob’s taught me that a film can offer a much deeper understanding of the human soul through abstract and at times surrealistic colors and images than with attention grabbing formulas of creating suspense. 

I hope that my film, Voices From Within, will become an instrument of awareness and create a sense of compassion in the hearts of the viewers so they will become more involved and understand the pain and the stigma people who are affected by various types of mental illness endure throughout their lives. Unlike physical illnesses which through ages have earned attention and through scientific, medical and pharmaceutical treatments have accomplished astounding results, mental illness with all its complexities and at times unpredictable behaviors of the individual still is a field which necessitates ongoing research and explorations.

Finally, I would like to express my deepest gratitude to the Toronto Indie Film Festival for recognizing the validity and factuality of multitudes of individuals who experience the pain and discomfort of mental illness in their everyday lives. And this priceless gesture by the Toronto Indie Film Festival will energize and inspire me to continue to study and explore the world of the mentally ill and project their pain through my experimental films.